Perception and Comfort
by Tigerdust
Summary: Even after all that time, its still not easy to admit that some couples are made from necessity and love. MMRP Jason and Billy, written for cobalt-blue as a thanks for the review they left me.
1. Chapter 1

They had told him that the warm breeze would be good for him and it was in many ways. The sound of the ocean on the wind, exotic and colorful plants popping up all around no matter what the time of year was so gratifying. Even the best seafood around, better than anything Ernie had ever caught and made into weird things for his favorite customers to try.

A light spinach salad was on the menu today and it was one of Jason's favorites. It had a crisp taste to it with just a light overtone of oil and just that hint of salty cheese. It was a simple lunch, which was best according to the doctors. Truth was, Jason didn't really eat much anymore for fear he would wake up and he would have thrown it up anyways. You tend to enjoy things less when you wake up like that.

He smiled at the waitress when she brought him his drink, a pretty young thing with curves and golden wavy hair. She had the skin tone of liquid honey and her eyes told him that she was flirting right back. Jason only ever flirted anymore. One too many bad relationships, one too many broken hearts. He had a responsibility to the people he met not to fall for any of them for fear of their pain when it didn't work out.

His fingers felt thick as he grabbed the glass. There was a sharp wincing pain in his fingers and they soon enough felt dull and thick, numbed from the shock of the surge of temporary pain as he picked up the cool stem and brought the impeccable fruity drink to his lips. He was dining in the outdoor court of the hotel, the line of the ocean just beyond his line of vision. Jason blinked when the sun rose just a touch higher in the sky and that's how he missed the person entering the hotel.

"Jason?"

His head pivoted in his chair at the sound of his name. He'd avoided being recognized before, but he had gotten sloppy at his age. That or he just didn't care anymore. Except for the slightly confused, somewhat apprehensive and yet altogether joyous face of Dr. William Cranston staring back at him from the entrance of the restaurant, nobody knew who he was here.

"Billy, is that you?" The words seemed foreign in his own throat. "How are you man?"

Jason hurried to rise from his chair and he found that he didn't quite hover over Billy the way he used to. He noted the color in Billy's cheeks, the authority in his eyes and that quiet and subtle confidence that mixed so well with his sharp intelligence. Gripping onto the chair to make sure he shook with his non-dominant hand, Jason received an old friend with hidden enthusiasm.

"Surprised to see you. Meeting someone for lunch?"

Jason shrugged, hand nonchalantly motioning toward the table. "Not unless you're gonna join me."

Billy's eyes danced just slightly. "Sure! Man, we've got some catching up to do. Give me ten minutes. I've been on a plane for about six hours and I want to at least change my shirt."

Jason nodded as he slowly sat down. "I understand man. Traveling is not the way it used to be. Can I order you a drink? My treat."

Billy chuckled. "You don't have to Jason."

"Man, if half the people in this town knew what you had done for Angel Grove, they'd be buying your room for you."

Billy shifted the weight of the strap across his chest. "I can see modesty is still one of your strong suits. Fine. Get me a Long Island Iced Tea if its any good. I'll return shortly."

True to his word, Billy was back in less than fifteen minutes. He was wearing a black tank top under a blue button down that was opened to reveal the tank top and the semi-defined form beneath it. Jason would come to find out that most of the tops he owned came in a variety of shades of blue, with the occasional hint of red.

Billy ordered prawn and shrimp skewers over rice when the waitress came back, noticing the way she flirted with Jason. He could tell that Jason was reciprocating, but it was hollow and lacked that spark of assurance that Jason had always had exuded. Billy tried to dismiss it the first time, but every now and then he would see cracks in Jason's carefully placed facade.

"So, what brings you down here to the Coast?"

Billy sat down his glass with a gentle clink. "Mm, thats good. Here for a graduate conference, actually. Representing my department, defending our research grant analysis. Didn't Tommy tell you I was coming to town?"

"No, man. I wouldn't have let you check into a hotel if I'd have known." Jason bit down hard on his own tongue the moment the polite phrase came out of his mouth. His fondness for the old days was overshooting what he thought was prudent.

Billy made a kind of grunting noise in the back of his throat. "Eh. I'm only here for a few days and its all dry academic stuff anyways. Tommy laughed at me when I said I had to go. He found a way out of this one."

"Oh yeah. You guys are both doing social science, aren't you?"

Billy nodded. "We do what we have to do. Surprised to see that you're still living here though. Construction around the country's going down to almost nothing."

Jason waited until after the waitress had set down Billy's plate and walked away with a wink before he answered. "Fortunately, I'm a foreman so my butt got dragged out of the fire. And I have a few connections, so I've diversified a bit into government work."

Billy winced a bit. "You sure thats wise? You always had distaste for dishonesty."

Jason prayed as he lifted his fork to his mouth that for once he could contain the shaking, which he did. "Maybe I've mellowed a bit in my old age. We both know there are worse things than politicians out there."

Billy shook his head, blushing lightly as he knew that Jason was breaking the tension about the meeting of the Reds. Tommy hadn't told him about the threat, but the tone of his voice had said volumes and Billy didn't really care to make an issue of it anyways. If he were to be called again, he would go. But he wouldn't push it.

For a moment, they lapsed into a comfortable silence before Billy sloshed a bit of lime juice onto his skewer. Jason accepted a shrimp when Billy offered it cordially to go with his salad. He hadn't realized how nice it was to have lunch with a friend.

It took three days until Billy realized that something irreparable seemed to be wrong with Jason. The first time he saw the slight tic in the hand, Billy dismissed it. But, as an alarmist, he couldn't help thinking of Parkinsons or some other muscle disorder. His intelligence turned to worry as Jason seemed to shrug off or mask the pain. Billy had known him long enough to know when he was fighting. And he could tell Jason was fighting hard.

For his part, Jason had forgotten how much he had missed the man he considered his best friend. Tommy had been close of course and there had been that fling with Kimberly and long conversations about battle tactics with Trini, but Billy had been different. They hadn't even needed to talk sometimes and Billy would just know what Jason wanted or needed, just not in a creepy way, merely intelligent and slightly deferential. Which had been appropriate considering Jason's stature as the greatest Ranger to ever live.

Whenever Billy looked at him with a sidelong glance as they walked along, Jason would catch that glimpse of hero worship in his eyes and it made Jason wonder often enough what it was for. Billy deserved that more than he did. Sure, Jason had worn the suit longer but Billy had contributed so much more, a ridiculous amount of heart and faith and brains that Jason just lacked the capacity for.

It was no surprise then that they found comfort in each others presence. Jason, feeling his age, did his best to entertain his old friend with jazz clubs and roadside taco stands, but he couldn't lie for long. And Billy wasn't being fooled. So, it was natural that Billy would be the one to broach the subject first after Jason had dispensed with the pleasantries.

"I told you that you would enjoy that trumpet player. He has real talent."

Billy nodded. "Indeed. It was a pleasant surprise, just like everything else you've shown me. I owe you for making this trip less boring."

Jason merely shook his head as he stood in his open doorway. "Think nothing of it. You got two days left right? I could see about taking a boat out on the marina, maybe a little vacation from your work after all this?"

Billy smirked. "More than tempting, but my kids need help with their thesis works. I'm always happy to come back in a couple weeks though. Just one thing I ask in return."

Jason flipped a switch behind him and a couple of soft lamps in his condo sprang to life. "Anything. Just don't ask me to stock the schooner with too many chicks."

Billy's smirk fell into a serious line, the happy wrinkles in his brow smoothing down. "Tell me whats wrong with your arm."

Jason bit down on his lip and sighed. "You don't miss a thing, Cranston. I always admired that about you. But I don't want to drag you down in my shit."

Billy's eyes sparkled in defiance, half in jest. "Tell me or I'll call Kim and get her down here. You want her playing platonic nurse until the day you die?"

Jason rolled his eyes, motioning the scientist inside. Once the door was shut behind him, Jason found a spot on the floor more interesting than Billy's concerned gaze. "The doctors I've seen are the finest the military has to offer and they think I've done permanent damage."

Billy's voice betrayed the concern he felt as he emphasized certain words in his reaction. "Permanent? How Jase? You've been retired since before the space colony rangers took over for us."

Jason made sure his eyes were blank as he brought his gaze up hard to Billy's softening eyes. "Tommy needed my help. There was a metallic dragon and I fought alongside this kid who reminded me a lot of myself. Had a lion spirit. There were almost a dozen Reds. I had to go."

Billy's face was crestfallen. "You didn't...of all the irresponsible..."

Jason felt his voice set on edge, surprised by the hostility that it took on. "Are you going to lecture me about responsibility and duty?"

Billy shook his head. "It makes so much sense now. You weren't gonna tell me either."

"Hey, its my problem and you have your own life."

The hurt in Billy's voice was evident. "Jason, that is the most pigheaded and arrogant thing you've ever said."

There was a moment of deep stillness in the room and Jason wasn't sure if he wanted to feel pride or anger at the way Billy stood up to him. In the end, he settled for a harsh laugh that took Billy back a bit. "You're right. But I figure I'm about ready to head to the old fossils home anyways. I just wish they could help me."

Billy tightened his jaw in sympathy. "Its hard when there are so few to rely on and you keep things like that to yourself. How bad is it? Were there operations?"

Jason reached out with his good arm, gripping onto Billy's shoulders. "No man. I'm not letting you take this."

Billy looked down on the hand on his shoulder in disbelief. "Let me in or let me go, then."

Jason's hand fell away from Billy's shoulder. Billy blinked, shook his head slowly in shock and surprise and found his feet moving toward the door. He turned back as he opened it. His eyes said that it was Jason's last chance and that he wouldn't get another.

"Wait. If you take this on, you can't tell them. I don't want everyone worried."

Billy's half-hearted anger was overlapped by the concern in his voice. "That's obvious, Red."

Jason's voice softened. "Come back in if you want to see then, Blue."


	2. Chapter 2

Billy took tentative steps. Jason was standing with the back of his legs against his couch. There was a lot of room between the two of them and the place was dead silent since the door had slammed. Jason gulped. Truth be told, he hadn't wanted to let anyone in. That way he could just hope and pray it was a worse dream than some he had remembered.

Billy's softly piercing gaze was constantly on Jason's visage as Jason slowly popped the buttons on his shirt. It floated away until it was laying on the couch like an orangish-red pool of fire amongst deep blue cushions.

Jason's thin white tank top couldn't hide the sag in his muscles. He worked out on nearly a daily basis, but his entire body was just so stressed and exhausted that it lacked that tightened sheen he had always prided himself on.

Billy whistled low. He reached out cautiously to touch the large band of bruising that seemed to cascade all across the bicep and into the inner arm. "This bruising isn't from the stitches at all, is it?"

Jason reacted quietly, resigned. "No. They got all of the grit and moon dust from the wound but I..."

Billy's smile was sad, a forced sort of upturn of the corners of his mouth. "You've gone too far now, Jase. You can't turn back."

"Right. Billy, the bruises aren't from the stitches. I...I think I have ptsd. I don't sleep and when I do, I dream about..."

Jason seemed to crash down on his own couch. His hands gripped the couch itself tightly. Jason looked around, feeling bewildered, alone, and very unsure. Despite the slightly warmth of the air circulating all around, he found himself following one point of heat on his knee. The heat connected to the palm of hand gripping the knee enough to let Jason know that Billy was sitting on his coffee table and staring at him.

"Jason, I can't let you do this to yourself."

Jason took a sharp hit of air in through his nose. He tore his gaze away from his old friend and looked toward the ceiling. "What? Am I supposed to just waltz into an army hospital and tell'em I'm the original red ranger and I'm suffering from ptsd...and oh, by the way, could they check an old ranger wound while they're at it? I'd be locked up faster than I used to be able swing a sword."

Billy's eyes darted about, searching Jason's face. "At least you'd be cared for then. Jason, I've been here for three days, three days where I could have helped you. I noticed right away in the restaurant when you took my shrimp with your fork. I should have been here for you."

"Nobody can help me. I have to do this on my own."

The malaise that had been coursing through Jason's body stopped cold when Billy spoke again. "No."

Jason found it hard to breathe, a large lump forming in the back of his throat. Jason never forgot how much Billy had given, how much Billy had always been willing to give. It made sense that he would be rescued by the greatest Ranger in all of written history.

Billy refused to leave as the night marched on. Jason talked and paced and drank cold water when Billy offered it as his voice went hoarse. He talked about the dreams, about Rita slitting his throat and Goldar doing unspeakable things as he was held prisoner. He talked about his body being crushed by a fallen zord. He spoke uneasily about never having company anymore for an entire night because he couldn't be sure if he would come up swinging and hit an innocent person.

Billy nodded, offered reassuring comments when he could, touching Jason on his bad arm when he started shaking, and grabbed him hard when the tears came as brief and as dry as they were. After all was said and done, Jason was more embarrassed about the situation than Billy. But Billy was the one who was blushing when he exited the bathroom in an extra set of grey sweatpants and worn white tank top in Jason's bedroom.

Jason had changed in his room after Billy had insisted that he was not leaving Jason's side yet. Jason was privately glad that Billy was taking charge. It hadn't taken long for him to lose the taste of seeing himself in any mirror he passed. Feeling an ache in his back as he laid down, he wondered how long he had been stooped over and old.

"What do you think?" Billy voiced his insecurity with the reddest blush that Jason had ever seen.

Jason nodded. "They fit. Billy, you don't..."

Billy raised a hand. "Stop before you say it. Neither of us are kids anymore and you need me. Don't tell me I don't have to stay because then you're just a liar."

Jason nodded as Billy made his way uneasily to Jason's bed. Jason could see Billy's clothes folded and laying neatly on the floor, which made him chuckle to himself. The chuckle felt hard and forced, but it was something. It was a start.

"TV?"

Billy nodded. "We could both use an escape."

Jason flipped over to Ion, which was ten minutes into the first Transporter movie. Billy finally settled uneasily under the covers just a few inches from Jason. Out of habit, Jason felt like he should be doing something for his guest.

"Um...popcorn?"

Billy shook his head, turning toward Jason. "I don't think I could with all this taco still digesting. You still hungry?"

"Nah."

Neither spoke again for about an hour. Billy wanted to suggest that they watch something with less of a violence and kidnapping theme but Jason seemed more content to do nothing else than wiggling his toes and watching someone else taking the lead for once, so he didn't push it. He was almost convinced that Jason was going to start snoring when the Red Ranger spoke.

"I think Jason Statham should only make movies without a shirt. He's the one dude I think that rule can be comfortably applied to."

Billy let Jason's fleeting thought enter and exit his ears as Jason's head lay back, almost sinking into his pillow. Billy watched his friend's eyes flicker towards the land of rest and he let his own head sink down into his pillow. They were quiet, watching the ceiling as the night dragged on. At one point, Jason left the television on but turned the sound down on a bare minerals infomercial. The lights flickered on the walls and the ceiling but neither man could say goodnight and fess up to what was happening. Jason needing Billy to be there just as much as Billy wanted to be needed there.

Billy didn't sleep at all. Two hours passed and he listened to the night unfolding all around him, trying to concentrate on Jason's light snoring pattern that he hoped was there, afraid to fall asleep for fear he would miss a critical moment. There was a tremor and it started in Jason's legs. His closed eyes fused hard together, leaving lines across his face. He grimaced and Billy watched, waiting for a moment where he could help. He prayed for his best friend silently and with more concern than he had ever felt before.

It was a battle, dust and comrade body parts flying everywhere. Red blood glistening and Goldar laughing triumphantly. Jason struggling to his feet, the rage in his eyes and on the air around him so palpable. Scared, scarred, surprised faces of familiar friends lying all around him. Jason alone faced Goldar. Lightning struck the scene as they battled, vibrating off the ground. He was getting bigger and Jason was helpless.

He threw punches wildly when he could, both in the dreams and real life. He woke up screaming deeply, howling with all the pain and helplessness of someone caught in a shadow.

"Jason. I'm here. It's okay."

He was sweating, hyperventilating, confused. But Jason knew he was being held. Billy was holding onto him tightly and his body was sinking in and sagging from the weight of the dream. He had never really smelled Billy's natural scent, but he knew it somehow. He knew being that close to Billy, that attached to his skin, that Billy was going to smell like a forest stream.

He instantly felt the shame and regret of need playing out in his body. He struggled, trying to move, but Billy held on while his breathing labored intensely. Billy held longer and deeper onto his very soul as Jason accepted the fact that he had probably thrown at least one punch in Billy's direction. Finally, opening his eyes, he saw the bruise developing along the collarbone.

"Oh God."

"Its okay."

Billy was adamant and he simply refused apologies. He just kept whispering that it was okay in Jason's ear over and over again. Jason refused to believe that it could be okay. It hadn't been okay for years. This was all temporary respite against pain and nothing more.

"Please don't go. Please don't go, oh God, Billy."

Billy had lost track of when he had stopped holding Jason. They were just mashed together, staring deep into each other's eyes and scarred souls with legs akimbo and matching bruises on both bodies.

Then Billy kissed him. He had to so that Jason would know it would be okay and that he wasn't alone and all that hurt and pain and those bad memories didn't matter because he would never be trapped again and he could be saved.

Jason didn't stop the kiss but didn't respond at first. He couldn't figure out his own reaction and whether he was going to resist or not until the moment that he pulled Billy closer to himself. His arm reached around Billy's back, securing their chests together until Billy had to breath fresh air. They broke apart, both gasping now.

Billy's fingers ran the course of Jason's jaw line slowly. Jason shivered, blinking, too drained to be disgusted by what he was doing. Too needy to care that he was with another man and too in love with Billy to admit that he loved him deeply.

When Billy kissed him in return, it was a refusal to be ignored. It was his hands moving beneath Jason's shirt in the darkness while the light of an infomercial played in the background. It was his own haphazard straight relationships in the back of his mind and finally understanding why none of the women or men had ever measured up. Neither were him.

Jason himself wasn't ignorant of what it was like to sleep with a man. There were some points in the height of his insomniatic hell that his urges had just been to strong to ignore and his thoughts were that a girl could just never handle it. But he had found a couple of men in the gay district of the city were more than willing to face away from him and take the thrusting grunts of his cock deep inside their asses and all the pain that went with it. It hadn't been his preference, but it had been quick and nasty and had gotten the job done.

Oh, but Billy was different somehow. Billy was looking him straight in the eyes, holding onto his shoulder while his arm was anchoring Billy's back. Jason licked the dryness of his lips with a moist tongue and found that his body was being dragged down to the bed. He was reclining beside Billy.

Billy was trying not to be terrified. He wanted Jason but he didn't want to add guilt to Jason's emotional turbulence. He would make due if a kiss of gratitude were all he ever received, but Jason was going to have to stop looking at him in the dangerous way he was. Dangerous in that it made him feel something like warmth, something like love. Something that Jason was in no place to give him.

But regardless, Billy couldn't stop the groan of his body when Jason's hand covered his chest. He couldn't stop his shirt from peeling away and landing somewhere in the tangle of sheets on his bed. And there was Jason's breath, leaning against his collar bone as Jason kissed him, fondling muscle with teeth and tongue until he nearly purred with pleasure.

Jason's entire body was reacting to Billy. As he slid his own shirt away, his legs climbed and tangled until he was hovering over the blue ranger, heart beat to heart beat. Billy's teeth captured his bottom lip until their mouths, their tongues, their throats were enmeshed and sighs and groans that could only be politely described as love making were issuing from every corner.

Billy could feel Jason's body tense as his cock hardened, pulsating against Billy's own bulge. Jason was peeking out of the top of his waistband, Billy could feel it as Jason ground against his stomach. Billy's fingers slid into the waistband, along the tip of the hard shaft of flesh. Jason's knees lifted so that he was exposed. In the flickering light of the television, Billy could see every contour of shadow against Jason's body and the hollow, pleading fear in his eyes.

Jason groaned, wincing in pleasure as Billy grabbed his cock and let his palm slide along the shaft, slick with sweat from the the nightmare and the somewhat humid night air. Jason's eyes opened and closed as he tried hard to concentrate, tried not to lose himself in the moment or the lust.

"Gah...I..."

Jason's hands fumbled to find Billy's body, but he needed to make that reaction in his new lover as much as he needed that reaction himself. Billy guided Jason's cock over his own body with a stable hand until Jason found Billy's waistband. His hips thrust upward until shaft met shaft. Jason's hand came down upon both their cocks and worked his almost leathery fingers into a sweaty, heady mix of lust and pre-cum.

Jason was breathing hard into the side of Billy's neck. Billy made sure a hand was on the small of Jason's back so that Jason remained stationary and stuck to his body. But they were only delaying the inevitable.

Billy came first with with a guttural, thankful hiss and Jason wasn't far behind. There was more thrusting and sticky mess over Billy's chest and Jason's arms. Thrusting long after they were both spent, Jason spread his legs so that his entire body encompassed Billy. Billy's hands roamed Jason's back until their eyes finally met.

Jason wanted to say thank you but he didn't have the words. There were no words. There was only a kiss and the night to hold them, wrapped in blankets and the warmth of each other after all those years.


End file.
